Today my oldest son turns 30. It seems quite impossible that those years have passed since he blessed me with his presence. At first we did not have a name for him but decided upon Matthew- which means “gift of God”.
I was quite young when I had him just shy of my 22nd birthday. And as a young mother I worried. I remember getting up in the middle of the night; his crib was at the end of the small bedroom. I watched him, making certain he was breathing, he was still there, this little miracle that had come into my life.
I knew my worry was just that- unjustified, random without basis in reality. He was perfectly healthy. But still I stood watching and my worry grew, until I heard a voice. The voice was warm and gentle and not entirely inside my head. The voice spoke and said, “Do not worry; he will be with you for a long time.” The worry evaporated as I stood stunned. Certainly I did not fabricate this, I had heard these words and they brought me comfort.
It was a comfort I would lean on many times as our lives grew apart and he followed his heart wandering the world. He has traveled far and wide, most recently Thailand and India. And I know in my heart he is protected by the unseen forces of God’s love, the Angels. In this I do not worry, for he walks amongst the Angels here on earth.
Beautiful. Babies, the closest thing to heaven, the beginning of all possibilities!
Motherhood, the beginnings of endless love and worries!