Chapter 14

The book store had a small new age section in it; Becca browsed the shelves looking for something that would instruct her on what she had promised Father Ian she would do.  She felt so foolish now, what was she thinking? She had no magical powers of divinity, although Azrael had promised Jannie would guide her, she still felt nervous and unsure. She scanned the titles, tarots, astrology, past lives, karma, yeah that’s the one, karma,  she must have been very very bad in her pervious life to have endured visits from the Angel of Death she mused. Her fingers traced over the outsides of the books, only two more rows to go and so far nothing seemed likely. 

            Suddenly, a book on the lower shelf fell on her foot, startled she bent down to retrieve it, it was called “Lightworkers”.  She flipped through the table of contents, and to her utter amazement there was an entire chapter devoted to mediumship.  Her nursing books would have to stand aside tonight, she had some serious work to do before Tuesday night’s meeting.  She took a deep breath, paid for the book and headed back to her apartment.

            Becca stopped at the general store on the corner and picked up a pint of her favorite ice cream.  Mrs. Winslow rang her up, “More studying tonight, dear?” she asked politely. She and her husband had opened the store many years ago, he had since passed on.  Her children had encouraged her to retire, but she enjoyed her work, it kept her young she would say.

            “Yeah, it’s just me, the books and my two boyfriends from Vermont,” Becca smiled referring to the ice cream.

            “A pretty thing like you should have those men flocking! What’s wrong with the men in this town? Besides, your boyfriends from Vermont seem to like their women large! Careful!” Mrs. Winslow laughed.

            Becca laughed with her, “I know, I know, it’s loaded with fat, but it taste so good! I could have worse vices!”

            “Yeah, you definitely could!” Mrs. Winslow chuckled, she shook her head.  It seemed to her that the young woman standing in front of her was perfect for someone, who could that someone be? She would have to keep her eyes open, perhaps she could help, she thought. The bells on top of the store door jingled as Becca made her exit. 

            Kallie greeted Becca at the door.  After their nightly walk, Becca settled in with her new book.  She munched absently on her dinner as she delved into the chapter on mediumship.  The information was straight forward and simple, but would it work? She finished dinner and then decided to attempt some of the exercises described. 

She sat in the living room, closed her eyes and breathed in and out relaxing her mind.  She said a prayer asking for guidance. She watched in her minds eyes as a golden orb formed and she released it upwards as Azrael had shown her as a mere child. She sat and waited for some confirmation, patiently breathing. She felt as though the golden orb had burst and released her prayer, it was hard to describe, but somehow she knew that it had entered the higher planes.

Next she envisioned the crown of her head opening up and a bright light descending from the heavens.  She visualized pulling the light in through her crown and down into her body, stopping at each chakra, cleansing and energizing each one.  At first the energy was subtle, barely discernible, but as she remained focused the intensity of the divine white light grew and she felt her body humming with its higher vibration.  It felt delicious; better than ice cream in fact.  She knew she was being helped from the other side.

In her mind’s eye a scene opened up before her, it was a beautiful meadow, lush and vibrant in all hues of greens.  Wild flowers of yellows, blues and reds swayed in a gentle but unperceivable breeze.  She saw a small group of children sitting with a young woman.  One child was on her lap and the others snuggled close.

Suddenly Azrael flashed in front of the scene, his massive wings obstructing her view.  “Oh it’s you!” Becca said somewhat annoyed, she had been enjoying exploring the meadow.

“Yes, Becca, it is I,” he spoke formally.  “This is where you will come.  The children need to speak to their parents.  This is what is right and good for the welfare of all.” He stepped aside and the scene resumed, the children were now playing, but not far from their spiritual mother.  Becca counted four of them, three girls and one boy.  She watched until the energy in her head became fuzzy and the scene faded. 

She sat quietly with her eyes closed for some time, absorbing all she had seen. Her head felt light, dizzy in fact.  And then she had an over whelming need for water.  Her throat felt parched, her skin dry, her insides a desert.  She walked unsteadily to the refrigerator and pulled bottle after bottle of water until she had consumed all of them.

 As she drank, she felt her cells absorb the substance, and her body relaxed back into its physical existence. “Wow, that was intense,” she said aloud. Kallie perked her ears up and tilted her head sideways making Becca laugh. “You poor dog! You have a weirdo for an owner!” she said as she rubbed the dog’s ears.  Kallie looked at her lovingly, there was nothing this young woman could possibly do that would make this animal love her less.

 Chapter 15

          Tuesday night came faster than she had anticipated, she was nervous.  She entered the basement of the church as Father Ian had instructed, as she walked into the meeting room all eyes turned to her, she felt instantly uncomfortable and wanted to bolt. Father Ian rescued her, “Becca, I am so happy to see you!” he began, “Please come sit.” She obeyed and sat across from the young priest as he requested.

            “Welcome back, everyone. I would like to introduce Becca, she has offered a sacred service to all of you who are interested.” He went on to carefully describe how and what they had hoped to accomplish. “I have never done this before and neither has Becca, but we have both been called by a higher authority to do such, so we hope that you will be open and receptive to this. I also ask that you do not discuss this with anyone and respect Becca’s privacy.” He nodded to the tiny group of bereaved parents.

            “Father Ian, please I don’t understand. Are you telling me that my grief is hurting my Tommy?” a dark hair man of about thirty questioned.

            “Grief is a normal response to any loss,” Father Ian chose his words, these parents were still raw, “You will always feel the loss of your child, it is not wrong to feel this way.  It is my understanding though that your children are in a spiritual limbo because they need you to extend your love so they can move forward.  They need you to trust in God that they are safe and being cared for, growing in fact.  They will never forget you, but they need that bond of love to become more elastic if you will, so they can move more freely in God’s country.” Father Ian related the information Becca had received from Azrael in a way he felt was tender and understandable.

            “Becca will try and give you some connection that will calm your souls, soothe your wounds,  lay evidence to God’s wonder.”

            The bewildered group stared at Becca, she flushed and looked beseechingly at Father Ian. “Remember Becca, just let the Holy Spirit speak through you.” She nodded nervously.  She took slow deep breathes, closed her eyes and raised her palms upward as they rested on her lap. She tried to reenact what she had done in her living room at home. She imagined the white light and opened her crown and waited. At first she saw and heard nothing, moments passed.

The little group grew restless, some cleared their throats. Father Ian flashed them a wearied looked.  “Becca, what do you see?” he quietly ventured.

Becca felt an odd vibration consume her being, she sensed the white light coming into her being, it pulsated and rocked her as it washed through her chakras. She opened her mind’s eye and looked, before her the Great Meadow appeared once again.  She saw Jannie and the children very much as the first time, sitting together. 

Jannie smiled in her direction and then a little girl approached her view. Becca began to describe what she was seeing to the anxious group of parents. “There’s a sandy colored haired girl, she is about three.” She paused until the little girl was closer and she could hear her sweet tender voice, “She says her name is, Victoria,” and audible gasp was heard.  “She says ‘My mommy is so sad, and Daddy too.’ She says, ‘I love you, please don’t fight anymore’, she is holding a giraffe, a stuffed toy, she calls him ‘Roger’.” Becca paused as she tried to focus. ‘I want to go live with Grandma Jean, she comes here but I can’t go with her’…”

Victoria’s mother came forward and clasped Becca’s hands, “Tell her I love her, tell her it’s okay to go with Grandma Jean…” her voice trailed off and she sobbed in Becca’s lap. Becca instinctively comforted the young mother and whispered something in her ear.  The young mother looked into Becca’s eyes and nodded through her tears. Her husband came forward and guided her back to her seat, thanking Becca as well.

Father Ian watched in awe, he had done grief counseling for over a year with these very same parents, it had always been baby steps in healing. Within moments Becca had given these parents enough comfort and faith to release the tight choke hold that grief had on them.  It was a miracle.

“I need water, please,” Becca croaked.  Startled, Father Ian handed her a small cup. “No, no, give me the pitcher!” Becca drank deeply from it, her cells felt parched and flat, the electrical current that had run through her had dried her. She felt the moisture return to her being, the pulsating resumed, her eyes cleared and she nodded to the priest she was ready to continue. 

She settled back into her light trance and resumed her connection.  Next, Tommy came forward.  “He’s about four, he’s so funny! He has a lisp and is hard to understand! He’s flirting with me!” Becca chuckled. “He says, ‘You’re pretty, but not as pretty as my Momma!’.” Becca could feel the energy shift in the room as Tommy’s mother leaned in.  “He says ‘I miss my Momma and my Daddy, they don’t ‘stand. They cry too much. I feel tears all the time!’.” Becca was silent for a moment as she listened to the little boy, “He’s very excited to be able to talk to you.  He says, ‘No more tears! That’s what Daddy would say when I fell off my bike, so no more tears!’.” Tommy’s father drew in an audible breath. 

“He’s very funny, he’s jumping up and down and saying, ‘It’s fun here, you can jump like the moon! I like it here, even if I miss you, I still can have fun. And they have horsies! Love you!’. He’s very excited to talk, but now he’s giving me a bow and blowing kisses goodbye.” Becca released the vision and rejoined the little group in the church basement.  She reached for the water pitcher and drank deeply again, reviving herself. She readjusted in the seat and again found her connection, this time more easily seeing the Great Meadow.

Olivia, came forward with her thumb in her mouth, Becca couldn’t understand a word she said but she described the scene anyway.  Olivia’s parents chuckled through their tears, this was true to form, she had been a thumb sucker during her short years with them.  Becca saw Azrael’s large hand come down and pull the thumb from her mouth and then the little girl spoke, ‘I miss you, but I have a nice Mommy here.’ She’s very shy,” Becca stated, “She’s rocking back and forth on her heels as she talking to me. She says, ‘I love you Mommy and Daddy. Don’t forget me, I will never forget you.  And God promised me that we would see each other someday,’ She’s running back past the little group straight to a swing.  She wants you to know she can swing by herself now!” This was a meaningful message to her parents; it was something she had wanted to do while on earth.

Becca did not break; the last child came forward, another little girl.  “She is wearing a green dress with daisies on it, she is showing this to me, it seems that this is important that you know.  She laughs like she forgot to tell me and then says, ‘My name is Sophie. My Mommy’s name is Catherine and my Daddy’s name is Clay.  I use to live in a big blue house with them. I still hate alligators, but I like the other animals here.  I play with our doggie Skipper here, he lives near us and I can play with him! He’s sorry he left you, but he wanted to be with me here. He says, ruff-ruff,’ she’s laughing and a collie just appeared at her side. She’s waving goodbye and shaking the dog’s paw too.’”

Becca scanned the Great Meadow, there were no more children but she just wanted to be certain. Jannie stood in her line of sight.  She smiled and held her hands near her heart area and mouthed the words, ‘thank you’ to Becca.  Tears rolled down her face for the first time that night.  She lifted her arm and waved good bye to her cousin.

It had taken close to three hours. Becca had reconnected to each child and had offered specific information that would convince the parents that this was real, they were in fact alive in another realm, that the bond of love would never break and that they needed to move deeper into God’s country with their parent’s blessing.

It was well past eleven when a sacred hush brought the session to an end.  Becca opened her eyes and saw the transformation the night had brought.  The parents were still steeped in grief but a layer had been peeled back.  There was a peace in their auras that had not been there before.  It wasn’t a cure all, but it was a start, a miracle for them to hold dear to their hearts as their hearts began the difficult process of healing from the worst loss imaginable. The parents thanked Becca again with an almost reverence as they left.

Becca drank deeply again feeling the sacredness of the water as it entered her cells. Father Ian watched her as she stood up and stretched with a yawn.

“I’ll walk you home, it’s late,” he offered.

They walked the first few blocks in silence, each lost in their own thoughts and then Becca spoke, “Father, do you think this will help?” Her innocence was endearing.

“You have done more for them in a few hours than I have done for them in the past twelve months,” he confessed.

“Oh, I doubt that, Father. Those people adore you, you are their buoy, their life raft on their sea of grief,” she said.

He smiled at her, “Thank you, Becca. I try, but even I can’t take away the pain of that loss. I just try and help them navigate the waters. You, though, you have a gift.”

She stopped walking, “Father, I don’t think so. I think Azrael just wanted me to do this. I think this was a once in a life time thing. Besides, I don’t think I could do that ever again,” her face contorted as she began to cry, “This is just so damn sad!”

For the second time, Father Ian held Becca in his arms and comforted her.  He pulled her closer than a priest should.  She brought him to a place he never thought he’d go, a place he had never wanted to go, he wanted to offer her the comfort she had so willingly given to others, but he wanted more as well.

Becca’s pushed back and gave an embarrassed laugh, “I’m afraid this is rapidly becoming a habit, Father. Forgive me for being so emotional, I can’t seem to help myself.”

He immediately became Father Ian, “It is fine my child, you deserve comfort as well.” He listened to his words, as if spoken by a stranger; the man inside him was stirring.