I should be amazed, but instead as I see the CROW once again as I pull up to my patient’s house, I just smile. The CROW has become my helper in my world of hospice. I know when he arrives he has come to bear witness to the passing of one of my patients. He is busily at the neighbor’s birdfeeder, much too small to support him he tips one way and then the other. Again, he is silent. We exchange a glance, I say ‘hello’ and know this is the last time I will be here.
This lady was beyond strong willed, her body let go days ago but her spirit was not ready to take flight. Her beautiful and attentive daughter stood vigil waiting and wondering when she would take that last leap of FAITH. She was waiting, waiting for her son who she needed to say goodbye to. Waiting for her son who had resisted coming to the bedside because they had had many unhealed issues. Finally, after much coaxing he came, no words from her as she was too far into the transition, no words but an exchange of LOVE and HEALING happened anyway. She needed to feel his presence, to feel the underlying LOVE that was shrouded by years of misunderstandings. One last exchange of LOVE between a mother and her son set her free.
Families can be complicated for certain, and the dynamics often become more intense when death is at the door. Grief is the B-side of deep LOVE, not the favorite song, not the one we want to hear, but it is there none the less, because in our world of duality there is always a flip-side. Clearing out the issues before someone passes, giving ourselves the gift of forgiveness helps in that we can process Grief without regret. Truly LOVE is all that matters, it is who we are and where we return to. Life is the dream of LOVE and Death is the awakening back to LOVE.