“Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by.
Your time has come to Shine,
All your Dreams are on their way….”
Paul Simon is singing “Bridge Over Troubled Water” on SNL, I am sobbing on the couch.
This was our song, my Dad and I often played it together, him with his silver trumpet and me on the family baby grand piano. It was something we shared, music speaking our hearts when we couldn’t. Later in life my Dad became my biggest cheerleader. We shared books on spirituality, I still have the copy of “Autobiography of a Yogi” he sent me. You see, he believed in nothing, that when we died we went into a black void and knew nothing of it. He said these words at a family meeting when we sat discussing his then recent diagnosis of lung cancer, years of smoking had claimed his body, his breath, his trumpet playing. I thought those words were the saddest words I had ever heard, in my mind I thought how could there be nothing? So, I started reading and searching and sharing my thoughts with him, and to my delight he shared the adventure. By the time he passed eight years later he had a different view on death, one of hope, certainly not all the answers because if there’s isn’t some surprise and mystery life and death would not be the amazing journey it is.
As I sat on the couch with tears rolling down my cheeks I felt a sweet soft energy on my head comforting me. I knew in my heart my Dad was near letting me know how much our love continues to this day, how whenever our song plays the bittersweet memories are a celebration of our relationship as Father and Daughter.
“Oh, and if you ever need a friend,
I’m sailing right behind…”