I have a hospice patient who is dying, I know, this is what they are supposed to do, but my heart breaks for her husband. She is his one and only, no children. Her decline has been both fast and slow, but I feel as though we are coming very close.
Last week during a visit she had her eyes closed and a smile on her face. I asked her why. She asked me if the girl who was with me was my daughter. I asked, “Is this what you are seeing with your eyes closed?” She replied yes and describe the girl with brown hair. This is the first time that a patient has shared with me seeing spirit that isn’t directly related to themselves. It is not uncommon for a patient to see their own family members prior to death and in fact she had seen her own Mother the previous week. I don’t have a daughter in spirit from this life that I am aware of, but I do have a cousin who passed at 6 years old and she remains close to me in my work. In any case it was a gift to me, knowing that my patient saw spirit beside me brings me comfort on so many levels.
Her husband then mentioned he wanted to get her a white dress. He wanted her to look beautiful and send her off that way. He said he was going to run to the local thrift store to look, I was pretty sure it had closed down and told him I had something in my closet he might like. I have one of those closets, like my mother before me, clothes from 30 years ago that don’t fit because my body has found a new form, but I just don’t want to part with things just yet.
I dropped off the lace ivory sheath, leaving it on the front door handle as he had run to do a few errands. The next day when I returned his eyes lit up and he was so grateful, the store no longer existed, and he had found nothing. He showed me the matching sweater he wanted to pair with the dress, it was perfect. He said he couldn’t understand it how it seemed like this dress was meant for his wife, and yet it had come from me. Looking at the pattern of the lace I realized it was hearts intertwined, yes it was perfect.
We cared for his wife and I complimented him on all his care, he said, “These things you can learn to do, but the sadness, that I don’t know what to do with it.” His eyes smiled through the pain, he walked into the kitchen dabbing at his eyes. I allowed him his privacy, he had shared what he could. I kissed his wife on her forehead goodbye and told her ‘I will see you tomorrow’. She nodded her head yes; she is not ready yet.
Love is patient, Love is kind, Love is a lace dress adorned with hearts.