The neighborhood dogs are barking this morning, but the choir has changed, a missing voice, silence comes from my house.  My house is no longer the world of Abby, she took the Rainbow Bridge this week, reuniting with her beloved Ruby, happily romping in the world of eternal bliss as I imagine. She never got over the loss of her beloved Ruby, every Golden she saw she would run up to whimpering in hopes…Now she would see her again. 

I knew she was failing, I watched the signs, but her puppy spirit was ever present and her determination to make it up the stairs each day never failed, even if she had to rest a while on the landing.  But then she stopped eating, and more unpleasantness followed, the details I will spare you.  By Wednesday afternoon my head was telling me it was time, but my heart wanted to linger.

The boys and I placed her in the back of my CRV, I sat with her, she was as anxious as I was. But I knew she was suffering, and I did not want that, she had been a faithful and goofy companion for over 13 years, her time here was done, my head knew, my heart ached.

I cradled her head in my arms and told her all the things she already knew, I thanked her for loving me when I could not love myself.  I thought in that moment perhaps God was a Dog, and He sent her to care for me and my family knowing how hard it is to be human, how tender, and fragile our hearts are.  How much we need to remember to bark without biting, to romp and play and enjoy every nibble of our food and when things get rough a nap is the best medicine.

Some people do not understand crying and grieving over a pet, but I can say this- the heart knows no difference when it loves, Love is Love is Love, and the loss is just as great.  I am broken open, my heart is raw, it is the price we pay for loving so deeply.  Thank you, Abby for choosing us, for being ever present and always loving.  Until we meet again.